NOW, as Tracey shared such sexy pick up lines with us yesterday, (such as "Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?"), I have decided to share my best of the best jokes with all you dedicated readers!
(No, I didn't get that pickup line either ;)
I thought tanx cosx was just sin x. Can anyone else figure it out? But some were pretty awesome, like "Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves" =D)
GET READY FOR THE MOST ROFLING SPASMING JOKES of your life!!!
These were the ones from my Christmas bon bons. Here we go!
Q. What is green and points north?A. A magnetic cucumber!
Ho ho ho!
Is that an encore I hear you want? Well here it is!
Q. How do you get off an elephant?A. You don't. You get off a duck!
lmaooo
Now here's my own:
Q. What did the hobo get for Christmas?A. Nothing. Awwww =[
Yeaap. Even my jokes are better x)
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So freaking tired right now. Eyes burning out cause I slept at 5:30 yesterday. I'm an idiot ==;
Spent like 12 till 2 talking to Alex. Then remembered . . . oh crap I really need to crap. So I then crapped for like 30 minutes. Came back to computer and spelt another whole hour reading lolfbmoments. MOST HILARIOUS WEBSITE EVER THOUGH =P
You seriously have to read this one: http://www.lolfbmoments.com/?p=482 I literally laughed out loud. You won't regret it. It may well be the highlight of your day. Apart from reading my blog of course =P
Then remembered I had to shower and wash my hair at like 3:30 -.-""
Finally came out like all refreshed at 4. Which is apparently bad. Because asian mothers always tell you washing your hair at night will give you "foong sup" ==; So asian lol
Translates literally into "wind wet". . . .
Went on YouTube and stuff to pass the time cause my hair was still wet. Speaking of YouTube, Joey I have an awesome physics video for you. It's something called the Ruben's Tube, and basically put it is a visual representation of the sound waves input into it.
You have a pipe, with holes drilled in at around half inch intervals. You then somehow feed gas into it, light it so that fire comes out of the holes, then feed music through it. Which then gives you a visual representation of the sound waves:
It's really pretty amazing. Why it works is because of the different pressures that each part of the wave exerts inside the pipe, affecting the amount of gas that comes out. If that makes sense. High pressures will have more gas coming out I think. Not sure though =[
So then something in my head went . . . check Gmail Nokia email for when my download credit expires. At 4:30 freaking o'clock. I was pretty sure it was the 10th of January but decided to check just in case. Then suddenly . . .
"You can still use your unused credit to download music until midnight on the day before the expiry date."
==;
I was like OMG YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS and walloping the computer to give me back my money cause I was just like a few hours over. Immediately opened Nokia Music (which takes FOREVER to load a single page) and signed in feeling a heart attack coming (opening it and signing in took almost a hair-ripping 10 minutes)
Then sighed a huge sigh of relief when my money was still there. I think it went by US time . . . phew. Luckily Sydney's like the first major city to reach midnight.
So I wasted like 3 min loading each page in Nokia Music trying to download it before they took down my money . . . it was like 5am by now . . . and the stupid sun was reflecting off the clouds . . .
FINALLY at like 5:30 I'd finally gotten Nokia Music to download my songs -.-"
No one EVER buy from Nokia Music. That was more like 6 month old credit . . . not 1 year old. They lied O_O And also the songs you download have restrictions. You see:
1. They are strictly kept in WMA format.
2. Do not try converting from WMA format. You will fail.
3. Attempts to play it on other computers other than your very own will fail due to the other computer not having the correct "Media Usage Rights".
4. This annoys me the most: This will NOT play on your iPod, in your iTunes (affiliation with Windows Media Player to force people to use it?), or any other player apart from a Nokia player.
5. Do not think you can outsmart Nokia by putting the song as the background to a video, then re-extracting the audio to create an MP3 audio copy. It will not work. Lol I tried. T___T
Before when I was downloading all my songs from http://www.bandit.fm/, NONE of the songs had completely absurd and unreasonable restrictions like those. More importantly, they will actually PLAY on my iPod. Not only this, but some songs are actually cheaper on Bandit than on Nokia Music.
And Nokia Music is unbelievably laggy! It gets really annoyingly bloated after a while.
At least I finally got all my awesome country music =D
Speaking of which, heard Tim McGraw was number 1 on the 2009 country charts, so I looked up his number 1 song, and found another awesome song! It's called My Next 30 Years and it's so pro =)
Uploaded it onto my Mixpod (which should be autoplaying muahahaha rofl)
Hope you like it guys!!!
And Tracey, that's the song from which I quoted =P
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Hearing it makes me scared thinking about where I'll be in 30 years. 46 years old o_O
Wonder what job I'll be doing then.
If you think about it, only 10 years has passed from 2000, in Year 1, and everything's already changed.
Most of the websites we use most now wouldn't even exist. No Wikipedia, Facebook, Youtube or MSN!!! Clunky monitors with Windows 2000. No blogs. No e-cards (people used to send postcards and letters once). No iPods and barely any MP3 players. In fact, I don't even recall anyone playing MP3s on computers back then. Phones like these were considered totally sleek and sexy:
An ultimate thief-proof phone.
No TV screens on the back of seats for planes even for 20 hour flights O_O
Kind of makes you wonder what/how all the teenagers a mere decade ago spent their days and holidays. Completely different to us.
And of course, no freaking psychotic terrorists. I feel so sorry for Muslim people who become discriminated against just because a miniscule few people give them a bad name.
It's a new decade, and the whole of Denistone East is different now. All the old equipment is gone and all our classrooms are different. In fact, my sister and I both agree it looks more like a prison now. Metal shade grilles cover all the windows, and all the two storey buildings are built surrounding a central quadrangle, with 3m high white vertical bar fences blocking off some paths.
It was so much funner 10 years ago =[
I still remember going to the Olympics like heaps of times, and you know how they had to put marks on your ticket everytime you went into a venue to limit how many times you went around? Even in Year 1 we thought of rubbing it off cause it was only whiteboard marker ==;
Ooh, and in the Olympic basketball games, you know how its all dark in the audience stands and slopes down REALLY steeply?
We all folded paper planes and started throwing them at people down before our teacher realised and killed us =DD
Speaking of paper planes, they have really weird flight patterns. Like seriously they always seem to go in the exact WRONG places. Another time in Yr 1 we were all folding planes during class, and I had this mini one which I threw as hard as I could. It literally turned 180° and came back, and literally shot RIGHT INTO the floppy disk drive. Right in. It was actually turned on its side so that it would fit into the drive . . .
If you hadn't seen it you wouldn't have believed it O_O
It was actually completely jammed and wouldn't come out one inch.
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Sorry that was such a long ramble. I guess my blog does live up to its name. Anyway, I'll leave you with Tim McGraw's My Next 30 Years. Gonna post it up now.
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